The waiting game is excruciating.
For the last several weeks, I’ve felt like I was a contestant on some bizarre game show, waiting for strangers to decide my fate. Is it Grade 2 or Grade 3? A simple number, but one that carries enormous implications.
Read MoreThe staples are out. I can wash my hair again.
It’s funny how the simplest joys can feel like the biggest victories.
The wild part? Even though it felt like a month had passed, this surgery was only two weeks ago. Two weeks. And yet, what an emotional whirlwind these past 14 days have been—not just for me, but for the incredible community around me.
Read MoreLike any major life event, there’s always a transition period where everyone is trying to find homeostasis again. I’ve definitely been feeling that over the last few days.
Read MoreDespite the actual physical discomforts of surgery, the hardest part about this whole recovery process has actually been relearning how to re- pace myself. I usually move at the speed of light. I’m always in constant need of mental and physical stimulation. My brain and body are so bored. I’ve been trying to keep myself stimulated through writing. Writing these blogs helps me process and feel some semblance of connection to everything ad everyone around me.
Currently, my biggest fear is being left behind while I rest. I have worked way too hard to get to where I left off last. To think I’m now being set back again after finally crawling out of the hell hole of getting situated in LA after moving from my beloved Austin, is daunting. I had such an awful experience my first 2 years getting situated in LA and it’s only within the last year and a half that I’ve finally felt more settled and I really don’t want to lose all that.
Read MoreI’m on at least 7 different meds, which is really wild from someone who avoids meds and am usually on vitamins at best. Though the pain is luckily minimal, mentally I feel puffy, swollen, and not like a rockstar. My feed of Britney Spears videos is not helping much. I feel like I’m nowhere 1 close to that yet… but again, hearing from people every day has been so helpful for the soul. I’m consistently surprised by everyone checking in. I really appreciate it so much - not feeling alone.
Read MoreLeading up to surgery, though scary, was also super bittersweet. What made it bearable was the positive support from my friend and family,I highly recommend a full on surgery party (catered by Matt Syrett and the Wade family). Thank you to my bro for being the best mediator, for helping me reconcile with my parents, and for bringing my two very important worlds together so that my family can understand the life I have been building. That is is full of love and joy and that I have been working really hard to build my career, even if it may not feel that way most of the time, given the economic strain and that is LA and the industry. Getting to slam a pinata (Thank you Autum and Elizabeth) with a stick and say fuck Tumi (the name of tumor) was so satisfying. ANd then having a group of your friends take a photo and flick off Tumi as a unit was so nice. No gloom, only joy was the reminder I needed going into the surgery. I especially loved that my co-creator and best friends Mai, and Elizabeth were able to finish shooting Season 1 of our mini series “Friends in FIlm.” THat as so satisfying. I cannot wait to have that released to show everyone what we have been doing. Being able to chat for almot 4 hours with my Erzulie co-producer, Payten Brewer was also amazing, understanding what she had to go through in her own cancer recovery journey from Lymphoma.
Read MoreIt is hard to believe that tomorrow I will be having what I hope to be the only major surgery of my life. Some of you already know, but others are just now finding out that on Tuesday, May 19th, 2026 I will be getting a brain tumor removed.
Read MoreThe AWD gathering at Disney was an exciting start to the picketing days in support of the WGA and SAG-AFTRA strike. Filmmakers and creatives connected and discussed pressing issues facing the entertainment industry, as actor and entrepreneur Adam Shapiro candidly shared his experiences with "Never Have I Ever," highlighting concerns like low pay and lack of residuals for non-series regulars. The strike has now reached 100 days of collective action, uniting the industry's members in their pursuit of fair compensation and regulations on AI usage, hoping for a more equitable entertainment industry in the future.
Read MoreFeeling nostalgic about the Erzulie mermaid movie tour, accomplished on a shoestring budget, amidst the wave of mermaid content like The Little Mermaid and Merpeople. In my journal entry following the California Mermaid Convention in May 2022, I reflect on our 5,000-mile journey from Los Angeles to Austin, Shreveport, New Orleans, Sacramento, and back to promote the first black mermaid film.
Read MoreFunny story, Payten Brewer, my co-producer, and I made April 1st the absolute latest date we could possibly wait for our Erzulie funding to come through. If we did not reach our funding goal of $150K by this date, we would have to postpone our shoot dates indefinitely.
Read MoreDistribution is such a hairy place for a filmmaker with no recognizable names, no festival laurels that matter to the film gate keepers, and no money. It is a soul sucking hell hole, both of resources and time. I have launched myself into this hole with a parachute of my own network of friends and supporting filmmakers, and can only just hope for the best.
Read MoreMay 17, 2021 marks the day I finished packing up my car to the brim with production knick knacks and set off to a much needed R&R in NOLA with some of the cast and crew. This is after spending almost a month at 'film camp,' deep in the swamps of Louisiana, shooting a creature feature adventure action film in 11 days. It was a bittersweet day, one filled with both exhaustion, relief, and most importantly pride. I had the honor of going to battle with a motley group of talented individuals against a lot of odds -- unpredictable river levels, killer mosquitos, a VERY insane timeline and an even tinier budget, and still coming out victorious. I am now much wiser, with a lot more white hair, and incredibly humbled.
Read MoreAs a full-time first assistant director in the industry, I know my job, in a nutshell, is to first and foremost keep the cast and crew safe while staying on track with a carefully planned schedule. We plan for all sorts of variables, from location issues to time of day to talent availability, but nothing can actually prepare you for filming during a pandemic, than actually filming during a pandemic.
Read MoreIt's been almost a year since my last confession. Ha… what I mean is it has been a year since my last blog post. I woke up this morning and just knew today would be a difficult day for me to be productive. From the work out I struggled to finish this morning to not being able to disconnect from my phone and social media, I knew extra emergency measures had to be taken.
Read MoreSome of you may know of a feature film called Funemployment. If you don't, you should. It hasn't won any major awards (because I didn't bother to submit it to anything) or is really even an example of “good cinema,” but it is evidence that anyone can put themselves through their own film school, without going to actual film school, by making their own feature film.
Read MoreI think the hardest thing about being a creative is knowing and accepting that these kinds of days are going to happen and to not beat yourself up about it. It is knowing that not every day is going to be filled with big wins and that some days you will feel like a useless blob. I cried today because I woke up feeling exhausted – mentally and emotionally.
Read MoreToday, March 4, 2019, marks a very emotional milestone in my career as a filmmaker. It is the day I release my first ever feature film, Funemployment. Many people who have been following my journey know about Funemployment because this is the movie that literally jump started my crazy dream of directing films.
Read MoreChasing the next big idea and then actually sitting down and writing it is a pain in the arse, especially if you don’t consider yourself a natural writer. How I define “natural writers,” are those who write and love to write all the time, whether or not that piece of writing ever sees the light of day. They write for other people to direct or produce and write scripts to sell. That is not me. Anytime I write, it is for the sole intention of directing it. I am not formally trained and in fact my writing may or may not be riddled with technical errors (since I’ve been completely self-taught) and my scripts are written as if I am the only one who has to read them.
Read MoreYesterday morning, I launched the first event for Girl Boss Mafia and was both inspired and humbled by the number of female business owners who were able to make it and share their incredible ventures. All these ladies came from multiple different backgrounds, juggling many responsibilities, passions, and side hustles.
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